Resisting During Pandemic

Finding a way to live in a spiritually healthy way during COVID was a daily challenge. The easy thing would be to sequester and ignore it all until the dead stopped piling up. But that is not who I am. And my journey continued. I found ways to resist the virus, the lethargy, the drama, and even, at times, to rise above the persistent stream of bullshit. All the while, I knit, I spun, and when I was really frustrated, I would go pick vegetable matter out of wool. There is nothing better to slow down the heart rate like tiny, painstaking work. Those stitches, washings, and slow steady treadling are what helped me find breathe when I was sure I was drowning. I made sure the whole family was registered to vote as soon as we moved in July of 2020. And I did a rare thing and INSISTED that everyone under my roof vote. And they did. I was so proud of them as we all drove together to drop off our ballots as a family.

October of 2020 I crocheted up a classic RBG collar for a friend to wear for Halloween. We were so saddened to learn of her death. But it made me more determined than ever to keep my voice. When things eased in our town, I met with my new women clergy group and we walked around Hanford drinking wine and eating chocolate. It gave me life and reminded me of the sacred work women do together simply by breathing air side by side. I traveled to San Francisco to witness the first Trans Lutheran Bishop being installed and I was thrilled to see and witness such love and welcome in the bay area. All through the pandemic I resisted depression, anxiety, and anger. Not that one can always do that, but I did work hard to try. And I am lucky to find myself on the other side. Not all of us made it. And these days I no longer resist the tears as I weave my sorrow into purple garments. They will forever be woven into these precious pieces of clothing that I will carry and wrap around me. This is what it looks like to seek the divine one in the midst of our art, of our work. To gather in the little threads of emotion and story and bind them into something that brings meaning to it all later. I am just now gathering these threads of the last 2 years- slowly and torturously reviewing emails and social media posts, realizing the journey I have walked with so many. Gathering them to weave them together here. I never meant this to be the place I would put my COVID story... and yet... here are the threads of this divine art. May their lights be with us always. And may we continue to resist and shine bright.